Running out the clock

A week or two ago I got a call from an English academy near my house about substituting for a teacher who was sick. I stopped by with my CV in September and since then I've gotten a few calls to sub, but it's never worked out with private classes and such. This time I rearranged some classes and was able to go.

Upon arrival, the owner David quickly explained to me the next four hours of classes. One group of middle school kids, three groups of elementary kids.

The school is staffed entirely by British teachers and when I got there a bit before classes, it was like stepping into England. "'Ello, my name is Thom," said one. "Ello, my name's Judy," another. One had a cup of tea. It was weird to be surrounded by English. I brought up the royal wedding and was a hit.

Then the kids arrived and that whole speaking in English thing was out the window. The doors opened at 3:55 and the kids flew inside like a tornado. Backpacks and Spanish and yelling and running and loud and movement and everything.

Later on, in my third class, we were reviewing family. These kids were a bit better at English than the other groups, so we started doing surveys about their families. I had 15 minutes left or so. We reviewed more distant relatives (aunts, uncles, grandkids, great grandparents, etc. minus 3 minutes), we threw in some in-laws (minus 4 minutes), we talked about other things people say other than grandmother or father (mom, dad, grandma, nana, daddy, ma, grandpap, etc. minus 4 minutes.)

The clock was still going. Looking around, I saw it coming. The clock was slowly ticking, I couldn't let them out early, couldn't give them something new to do. Four minutes. The perfect storm of 4th graders, a small amount of free time, and lack of volume control was about to erupt. The kids were moving to the edge of their seats. It was time. I knew I had to drop the bomb that would carry me through to victory!



"Okay guys, WHO HERE HAS THE MOST COUSINS!?"


Eyeballs went to the ceiling, fingers were counted, mouths mouthed to the names of cousins.

Dropping that question in Catholic countries always takes some time. Bell rings, kids file out, I win.

(For the record, it was I who had the most, with a whopping 23 first cousins. Conrad/Haukeness FTW.)