Kids Say the Darnedest Things

"Ok Ok Fernando! My turn!"

I jump up out of my chair and take my spot center-stage in the play room. Fernando, my 5-year-old student sits down on the tiny chairs by the tiny desk and grabs the red crayon to mark down my points. I'm always red.

"Ok, you have to say the toy and then I do the motion," I explain, grabbing his right hand so that he stops picking at the spiderman tattoo on his left hand.

It's the final round of the grand challenge. The superbowl of the "you say the word in English and I make some ridiculous pantomime and hope that the neighbors outside aren't watching but that's okay because you laugh every time I make a funny face" game. Cue drumroll. The action begins.

Eskootair! (Sssssssssssscooter, Fernando. Say it with me, sssscooter.) I slide my left foot on the ground, propelling my imaginary scooter. He marks down a point.

Bike! I grab the handlebars and peddle by. Another point.

Kite! I hold on tight to an invisible string and make wind sounds. Another point.

Ummmmmm....... Doll! He makes a disgusted face at girl toys, even though I tell him his Toy Story 3 Woodie is actually a doll. He doesn't believe me. I rock a baby in my arms. Another point.

Ball! Soccer game, I score a goal. I cheer. Another point.

Eskatebor. (Not eskatboar. Sssssssssssskateboard. Mira mi boca, asi. Sssssssskateboard.) I skate Bart Simpson style. Another point.

I have reached the tipping point in the game. It's best out of three. He has won one round and I have won one. He has one more point than I in the final round. I throw the game.

Ball! I pretend to contemplate for a minute. I make the doll gesture and a "I'm not sure this is right" face.

"NOOOOOOOOO! WOMMM WOMMMM!!! He ganado! He ganado! I ween! I ween!"

I hope he doesn't notice that the scores of the games are always the same. I start packing up my things and he throws out this one liner:

"Ugh but Cler, how do you know so many words in English?!"