Previously, on Where to?

When we last left our protagonist she was moving down the coast. Then, she apparently dropped off the face of the Earth for a month and a half?

Did she suffer a fall from her fifth floor apartment?
Nope.

Tragic waterski accident?
Nope. Considering the Siberian cold front that swept through the continent recently, I wasn't touching the water with a 3.04800 meter pole.

Allllmost beach time.

Convicted of the murder of the construction workers on the building next door who cut the water pipeline to the building and left our protagonist carrying buckets of water up to her piso from the outside tap in order to flush the toilet and wash hands and face after a long day of child wrangling?

No, but I wish.


Actually, I've been right here. We've been putting together the apartment into a nice place to live. It's been an an uphill battle against copious amounts of dust (WHERE does it come from?!), furniture infested with bugs called polillas, (which I still am not quite sure what they are in English; moths? termites?), and approximately twenty garbage bags full of general crap that needed to be thrown out. Old knick-knacks, broken furniture, dust-infested curtains, sun-bleached patio chairs, etc. etc.

Luckily, the display of miniature collectable anchors from La Opinion de Malaga newspaper are still with us.

Our decor is nautical-chic.

They're kitschy and have grown on me.

While these two gems weren't thrown away, we decided that leaving them above the beds was not a great idea.

The caption reads "Mary, your serene and flawless
gaze gives me the courage to keep fighting." No joke.

Friend that never fails!

 But wait, there's more! We got the travel-sized versions as well.

You can see what we were up against. But, after all this work and a bajillion Ikea runs, we now have a comfortable place with tons of space and a study for me to blog from.

Come visit! I'll be on the patio in a bikini with a gin and tonic, contemplating Mary's serene gaze.

Two steps to the east, one to the west

These last two years I've gotten very used to being publicly transported. Living in a northern neighborhood of Málaga and getting down the coast to Fuengirola and later up the mountain to Benalmádena pueblo, my mornings and afternoons were one bus ride after another.

This year, the gods smiled on me and gave me a school right in the heart of the city. A short ride on the city bus and there I am.

Obviously this would be too easy, so I'm moving. To Benalmádena.

No it's not that I miss the commuter trains or that I have a deep love for Chinese takeaway and permanent Northern European expats, but I do get to live with José in a nice apartment close to the beach.

View, photo by José

I'll miss my old apartment in Teatinos, but am excited to move in with José and to take this next step in our relationship.

And of course to be a frequent rider of the M110 bus again.

Christmas is in the Air

Christmas is coming! Time for mantecados, turrones, tamales, mazapan, cookies, pies, polvorones, chocolates, roscos de vino, oh my...

Photo credit

Time to get back to the gym before that mountain of food arrives. This calls for some vigorous 80´s calesthenics!

Look at those pelvic thrusts!

Juan y Medio

Andalucía is blessed with a gem of a local TV network: Canalsur.

It's now in HD. Because that's what it needed.

It is the go-to network for flamenco contests, knock-off Karlos Arguiñán cooking shows, and, the gem of it's programming in my wise judgment humble opinion, Juan y Medio.

Trust in the 'stache.

If this man doesn't inspire confidence, I don't know who would.

Juan y Medio hosts several programs, but the best, again in my sage wisdom personal opinion, is La Tarde Aquí y Ahora. On this program, Juan y Medio takes on the noble task of senior dating. Each program, JYM interviews a couple of senior citizens, all of whom are characters and super difficult to understand through the accent and age. These senior citizens are single, and ready to mingle.

JYM, who has a special touch with getting the elderly to open up, interviews the dating candidates and then prospective partners call in and can chat with the lucky man or lady in the hot seat.

This. Program. Is. So. Good.

Never will you see little old pueblo ladies making discreet references to sexual activity, or older men explicitly stating they want a woman who can cook, clean, and the Spanish equivalent of "no fatties."Or who may be unsure of just how many children they do have around.

If you have the chance, I in my total and complete knowledge of everything suggest you catch an episode.

While it is a hoot to watch the program, JYM serves a really crucial social function. Elderly people still have a lot to offer, a lot to live. Rather than sweeping them under the rug or treating them as burdens, there should be a way for them to participate actively in society. Maybe we should export JYM.

John and a Half, anyone?

I nominate Geraldo Rivera.

I mean he's already got the 'stache requirement covered.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey there 14-year-old girl!

So you are in 2º ESO and you don't want to learn English? It's just not for you, you say?



Well, I think you should.



Why's that you say?

Oh no they di'int!

Oh I dunno. Maybe because in 4 days Twilight's Breaking Dawn: Part 1 opens and all 1326 showings of the dubbed version in Plaza Mayor will be sold out.

The one that will have seats available?

Original Version Subtitled.

I suggest you start studying tonight.

Public Service Announcement

Attention tourist shops in Spain and the middle-aged man at my gym:

This shirt has never been and never will be funny, unique, or creative.

Please stop making it. Please stop selling it. Please stop buying it. Please stop wearing it to lift weights in the afternoon.

Please. Stop.